letting them learn

You know those bad moments, the moments you try to let your kids learn from their mistakes?
We had one of those this morning and i am left with a stinky feeling because of it.

We seem to be going through a bit of a back to school adjustment with Brady right now.
He has been a little disrespectful (that alone hurts because he is not that kid) towards us.

The bus stop is basically in front of our house and the kids at the stop usually play in our yard while waiting...
He was tossing a ball back and forth with some of the kids and accidently hit one of the girls in the head. I quietly asked him to apoligize (i knew it was an accident, i just thought he should apoligize)
In his 7 yr old stubborn-ness. he claimed he didn't hit her with the ball, i was wrong/he was right, he didn't need to say sorry.
I moved him away from the kids to quietly talk, it grew from there...

It ended up with him crying and losing some of his LEGO time when he gets home from school.
I hugged him goodbye, he was a stiff board...sad and angry at us (J. was there too)
He got on the bus with his head hung down, tears still silently falling.

BREAK. MY. HEART.

J. and i recently had a discussion with him regarding his disrespectfulness. In the discussion he was told there would be consequences for this type of behavior...

So...why do i feel like the consequences hurt me as much as it hurts him?

Why do i feel like i should go rent a movie to have a movie night with him, bake some cookies or get ready to be FUN MOM when he gets home from school?
 
Because i am a MOM and i want to make it better.

I am trying to remind myself that the blessing in disguise is that I AM making it better.
I am making it better because I am teaching him to be respectful of someone elses feelings, of us, of our rules,  I am making it better because he will be a good example for his little brother and for the kindergarten boy at the bus stop that looks up to him.

I know he didn't intend to hurt anyone with the ball.
I know it was an accident.
I know i could've just let it go.
I know he was rude to me, to us.
I know he was probably a little embarassed and that is part of the reason why he acted that way.
I know if i could've just made him say sorry, his morning would've been a lot different.
I know he doesn't usually act that way.
I know i can't wait for him to get home from school to see how his day was.

"train up a child in the way he should go;
            even when he is old he will not depart from it"
(Proverbs 22:6 ESV)

awake and on my mind

i have mentioned before about wanting another baby
it comes up in daily conversation with my job as a labor & delivery nurse.

when the little hurricane was born i felt like our family wasn't complete (and NO it is NOT because i have 2 boys and i want a girl)

in the last two years i have consistently felt like i wanted another baby and in the last 6 months or so i have been up and down on the thought.

Things are....stable...so why rock the boat...
Luke is a little person not a baby anymore (sniff sniff) No breast pumps, baby food, giant diaper bag not to mention,he only takes one nap a day. (that two nap thing stinks for running errands)
Brady and Luke have a good relationship and the family dynamic is good right now.
J. and i can go out on dates again (easier to find a sitter for two)
I am horrible at pregnancy

SO why am i having preganacy dreams? (this is why i am up at 3am right now...woke up after a pregnancy dream, now i am up)
maybe it is because i work with mammas and babies....


BUT
i love my kids with that mamma lion fierce-ness
i DO love the laughter in the house
the silly-ness of my kiddos and having dance parties
watching J.wrestle with them.
seeing them learn to walk and talk and grow into tiny humans
art projects with them and field trips to fun places
watching my boys be brothers to each other, teaching and learning from one another
big hugs, kisses and "i wuv you mommy"
breastfeeding in the quiet of the night when i am the only one awake with my tiny baby.

i love it when they are mushy little newborns, like they have no bones to hold them up!

i know i need to listen to myself from the last post regarding "the baby fever feeling".
that it is not up to us, it is up to Him. (although we DO play a role in the decision making, God is the one that decides to bless us with that tiny being or not)

like i said i have moments where i go back and forth on the idea BUT i have to remind myself that He knows the plan and it is what He sees fit.

Back in the Saddle again

so i have been pretty absent from my blogging this summer.
i felt like it was taking time away from these guys

 i decided to pretty much halt the writings (not that it matters to many...only a few peeps are followers and i am blogging for myself and to record family moments)
To me it doesn't make much sense to blog about creating family moments but then ignore time with my kiddos or man in the process.
Brady is back to school so I am back in the saddle again . My goal for this fall is to write with more intention and explore more about my journey through my faith and life.




Anywhoo...speaking of family moments..
We went on vacation to Michigan (you can read about my obesessed packing and excitment HERE)
I want to post some pictures about our trip..
WARNING: THERE MIGHT POSSIBLY BE TOO MANY PICTURES POSTED

on the road...on the way... sunrise

posing after stopping to eat breakfast

working hard at sand castle buliding and ditch digging

the first run to the water

brothers

my boys

big hat lady has hit the beach

swings on the beach

not my best side but at least i am with my boys

our favorite beach, Oval beach..at the bottom of the picture is my Jar-garita...
i love anything in a mason jar so i was thrilled when i found the recipie for this "jar-garita"

Dune Buggy Ride, at the top of the Dunes

family shot at the top of the Dunes

we love boats

pure michigan

on the way home

There are so many more picture (literally i took hundreds)
Stay Tuned for...
Vacation Family Photo Shoot pics

Back to School

Brady started back to school yesterday.
2nd grade.

first day of 2nd Grade

I keep seeing posts on Facebook and hearing people say that they are "counting down the days when the kids go back" or " i couldn't wait for them to get on the bus" or "finally school, now i can have time to myself"...

I think im a bit abnormal because I still want him home with me.
Im not knocking those mammas for saying that, i get it...i just don't feel it
.
Im trying to take a deep breath and enjoy these times more.
The times i have with my boys.
Life is just too short and these boys that God gave me are such a blessing.

He loves being with his friends and enjoys school, he is also a good student
BUT
He also enjoys being with his family
I know there will come a day when he won't want to be around us so much
AND
Im sure there will be a summer when I say "im counting down the says when the kids go back"
BUT for now
I wish my BIG 2nd grader was still home with me ...

Hanging with my buddy on vacation in Michigan

The big 2nd grader

or at least they had half day school for 2nd grade.

Booper

August 2nd.
Many years ago this was just another day on the calendar.
 Probably a hot summer day, a day i was trying to soak up the sun at the pool, hang out with friends, run errands or enjoy a vacation but 4 years ago August 2nd changed for me.

It is the day that i lost one of my greatest friends to Breast Cancer.
Today I don't want to think about that. I don't want to think about her long, hard fight.
I want to think about her and all her greatness.

Bonnie. I called her Booper.
I met her our freshman year in college.
She was the kind of woman that lit up a room.
She was the kind of woman with a BIG personality.
She always had an opinion and was never afraid to share it.
She was strong.
She was funny.
She was a mom, a wife, a sister, a daughter and friend.
She loved being a mom...and her daughter is SO her...she is SO Bonnie, a firecracker personality.
She had a fierce loyality and love for her friends. She always made time for them and i think because of her i have become a better friend over the years (at least i hope so)
She would dance and sing and didn't care who saw her do it... she she didn't care if she sounded good or looked good.
She had a great laugh.
She was a lover of life and everyone who came in contact with her loved her.
She was one of those people who come along once in a lifetime and every year on August 2 i am reminded how blessed ive been to have had her be part of my life.

1995. The year i met Booper .Freshman yr of college

2002. My Wedding

2008. One of my all time favorite pics of Bonnie.

2008. Her BIG infectious smile.

 *note to self...scan all my pics that were on an old school camera...too many pics to surf through when i want to find something..


LOVE YOU BOOPER.

Vaca

so i have been in an ADD packing frenzy.

We are leaving for vacation on Saturday am (1:00 am to be exact)
ANYBODY from MICHIGAN?

That is where we are going and i am in love with it..
with Michigan...

beaches and water (no salt water!)
small, quaint little towns
and for us a realtively short drive (just over 7 hrs...can't complain if it gets us to the beach!)

I am super disorganized in much of my life (even though i try to seem like i am not)
I AM
Vacations are time when i am super type A

I research the place we are going to until the cows come home.
NO. SERIOUSLY...IT. IS. AN .OBESESSION.
I love to explore the new areas, and experience the places we go in full force but not in a "super tourist" way. I dont need all of the typical attractions...just some good eats, some good peeps, some local culture and time with whomever i am traveling with.

So last year, by the recommendation of a friend, we discovered PURE MICHIGAN (do i sound like the commerical now?)

I fell in love.
with Michigan...
Did i already mention that?

Ive had a busy work schedule lately..it is busy season for babies...which gets me to thinking...i need another one (BUT that is another post)
anyway, busy season for babies so i have been busy at work  and at the end of this week.
It is vacation time.

We don't need extravagant vacations...no flying, no different countries or traveling the world.
Just Michigan.
Money can be tight at times and i probably need to get my eyebrows waxed, my hair did...
AND we could probably spend the money to update our home, buy back to school supplies, pay misc bills, or spruce up our wardrobe
BUT
my boys wont care what my eyebrows looked like or if my grey hairs were showing a little too much..

What they will remember {hopefully} is
riding the chain ferry across the river in Michigan
taking a dune buggy ride in Michigan
blueberry picking in Michigan
playing on the beach in Michigan
getting knocked down by the waves with mom and dad in Michigan.
Making memories in Michigan

THESE ARE PICS FROM LAST YRS Michigan TRIP!

Michigan- Here we come! 

embracing the kyle

linking up with Emily from The Anderson Crew today for Embrace the Camera.

so i am embracing Kyle today.
Kyle is my nephew. He has somehow grown up, graduated from high school and is heading off to college.
That, my friends, is impossible!


tiny "Ky Ky" as a toddler.

At my 16th birthday party, we found out my 20 yr old brother and his 18 yr old girlfriend were pregnant. It was one of those times where there was lots of emotion and drama and it burns a hole in your memory.

My brother and his girlfriend lived with us once we found out she was pregnant.
I am the baby of the family so having all of this attention on my brother and his girlfriend was....strange and i felt a little left out.
BUT...once kyle arrived...i was in love with that tiny little man..



me (rockin the blue scrunchie) and newborn Kyle circa 1993

It was awesome having him there, i helped care for him, play with him, cuddle him and my brothers girlfriend became like another sister to me.

Kyle was a super special kid. He brought so much joy to our lives.

one of Kyle's bday parties...why am i wearing a giant plaid shirt?
I also cut an ex-boyfriend out of the side of this pic.

a happy baby kyle and Paw Paw

Kyle saying goodbye to me after coming to visit me at College one weekend with my parents.
someone could've at least told me to wax my eyebrows.

As time went on...
They moved out
Got married
had another baby
and got divorced.

I had just moved home from college and i moved in with my brother shortly after his divorce. He went through a depression and i helped him with the kids.
Although, that was a trying time and i was young, those experiences with Kyle and his little bro, i believe have made me a better mom today. I learned a lot during that time.

Over the years, as in all families, there has been drama.
Kyle (and his brother) have been through a lot.
Step parents
step siblings
many moves
some very undesirable circumstances
anxiety, confusion, feelings of inadequacy....
He could've gone down the wrong path.

BUT this kid has grown up into an amazing guy. He stayed out of trouble.
He is so bright, funny, talented and sweet. He is getting ready to embark on the best times in his life.

(remember when you felt like you had the whole world in front of you...)

Kyle Graduation Day May 2012



Ky Ky and I- Graduation Day May 2012.
I look a bit tired in this pic or my makeup is jacked up...somethin is up with me

I have already given Kyle a 3 page letter with life lessons from his Aunt and i am SURE they will be the most profound words he has ever come across!!

Embrace life Kyle! You deserve it !

A Church issue.

so i have an issue.
Children in church.
The issue is not children asking questions or talking in church. It is not needing to go to the restroom, making noise in church, asking "when is church over"  "im hungry" or the cry of a baby.
It is the disrespect.
We go to a small church. Everyone over the age of 4 is in the sanctuary for the sermon (of course you don't have to take your child to the nursery but most do).
There is no childcare, childrens church or Sunday school during the sermon. IF you are under age 4, you sit and listen.
AND our pastor does not have short sermons. He is a true bible preachin pastor.

I get it... sometimes it is long. We had sunday school before the church service, you are hungry and the pastor has a lot to say.
BUT please control your children. please teach them some respect.
respect for the word.    respect for God.    respect for others in church.
How do we expect our little men to grow into God- loving and serving christians if we do not teach them to listen to the word of God in church.
I grew up in a big church.
It was easy to miss if someone was a little noisy, left early or was restless.
We also had Sunday School during the sermon so we weren't expected to sit in the sanctuary until we were older BUT maybe that is why I never truly understood God's sacrifice for us until I was an adult.

I can see someone getting offended at what i am saying but don't get me wrong,
Its not the children acting like children that i have an issue with....

It is letting your child play a nintendo DS during the sermon or games on your cell phone.

It is letting your child sit on the floor and play with his or her friends during the sermon, during prayer.

It is letting your child run around during the music, yell and dance so nobody can pay attention to the praise and worship band. I know some might think "its only during the music time" but some people really feel connected during the music and use that as a time for refelction and prayer.

I have also seen adults playing on their cell phones, texting,  facebook and needlepointing.

It is very distracting (esp to someone like me with ADD).
It is so frustrating for me because I work every third weekend (and at night) so there are Sundays that i am not there because i am sleeping. I also serve in the Nursery so i miss the sermon for that every few months.

We moved our seats to another location in the sanctuary and if you go to a Baptist church, you know that everyone has their own seat!
I don't think this will solve it but WHEW..at least i got it off my chest!

embracing the fourth

linking up with EMILY from The Anderson Crew for embrace the camera

I am still a bit absent from the blogging world right now..
Trying to figure out my place in it.
Spending time with my boys over summer break....
and comtemplating what comes next.

BUT to keep in the spirit of embracing the camera.
I HAD to post two of my most favorite pics of all time

i love this, Brady had the flag in his mouth and when luke saw it,
he had to be just like his big brother. i actually like my instagram version of this better
BUT im not sure how to upload those yet...AGAIN, I am NOT computer savy.

Priceless, i could have edited it...
but the colors...the sweat and suprise deserved an unedited version.
Luke was suprised and thrilled by the fireworks.

Fourth of july is not my favorite holiday but nothing can replace these sweaty (it was 104 degrees people!) , perfect moments i had with my boys watching fireworks and staying up WAY too late
PEACE OUT PEEPS!

BTW i know i didnt follow the embrace the camera rules but i couldnt resist these pics.

Daddy-o

Embracing the Camera with Emily at The Anderson Crew today!

I have talked a few times about what an amazing Father i think J. is to my boys here and here
BUT in honor of Fathers Day i am going to talk a little bit about my dad..

My dad and i when i was a tiny tot.
 Not sure how old i was because my mom is horrible at keeping a record of these types of things.
I am guessing 2 or 3. I wish my legs were still that tiny.

My Dad is... (this kind of reminds me of a list you would make in elementary school!)
Loving and giving- if he had $1 left in his pocket and someone on the street needed it, he would give it to them...he has done this before.

The life of the party- always an entainer and a great storyteller.

A great Paw Paw. The boys adore him. Over the years he has found some great teachable moments with my nephews and my boys and provided great lessons for them.

An artist. He is creative and has an amazing imagination.

A hard worker. He had his own business for most of my childhood and worked very hard to try to provide for us.

Stubborn and set in his ways- more and more each year as he gets older.

Devoted to his family- he had a massive heart attack and underwent a quintuple bypass a few weeks before i had Brady and he was at the hospital sitting in the waiting room (with a catheter still taped to his leg).  He sat there the entire time i was in labor. This is just one example of the things he has done for his family.

Devoted to his wife. He does anything and everything my mom asks for, needs and wants. He still makes her lunch for her to take to work.

He is funny.

He is a history buff. He is a lover of presidental history. Although, we don't see eye to eye on some political issues. He is an amazing historian when it comes to our country and it's presidents.

Book lover. I have NEVER seen anybody with more books.

Detailed and meticulous.

A great cook.

A fighter. He has had had numerous battles with his health since his massive heart attack 7.5 yrs ago and he just keeps on going and pushing himself through.
We are so blessed to have him.

Dad and I- Fathers Day 2012

Pics from lately

Here is what we have been up to...

Zoo train

watching orangutans

Paddle boats-
not sure what kind of pose im striking



look at mommy

 

tired after pool time



pickle creek with our cousins




swimming



playing at the river

sending him down the river

Dog Park



 Maggie gets some attention



Roller skating

Summertime fun!