letting them learn

You know those bad moments, the moments you try to let your kids learn from their mistakes?
We had one of those this morning and i am left with a stinky feeling because of it.

We seem to be going through a bit of a back to school adjustment with Brady right now.
He has been a little disrespectful (that alone hurts because he is not that kid) towards us.

The bus stop is basically in front of our house and the kids at the stop usually play in our yard while waiting...
He was tossing a ball back and forth with some of the kids and accidently hit one of the girls in the head. I quietly asked him to apoligize (i knew it was an accident, i just thought he should apoligize)
In his 7 yr old stubborn-ness. he claimed he didn't hit her with the ball, i was wrong/he was right, he didn't need to say sorry.
I moved him away from the kids to quietly talk, it grew from there...

It ended up with him crying and losing some of his LEGO time when he gets home from school.
I hugged him goodbye, he was a stiff board...sad and angry at us (J. was there too)
He got on the bus with his head hung down, tears still silently falling.

BREAK. MY. HEART.

J. and i recently had a discussion with him regarding his disrespectfulness. In the discussion he was told there would be consequences for this type of behavior...

So...why do i feel like the consequences hurt me as much as it hurts him?

Why do i feel like i should go rent a movie to have a movie night with him, bake some cookies or get ready to be FUN MOM when he gets home from school?
 
Because i am a MOM and i want to make it better.

I am trying to remind myself that the blessing in disguise is that I AM making it better.
I am making it better because I am teaching him to be respectful of someone elses feelings, of us, of our rules,  I am making it better because he will be a good example for his little brother and for the kindergarten boy at the bus stop that looks up to him.

I know he didn't intend to hurt anyone with the ball.
I know it was an accident.
I know i could've just let it go.
I know he was rude to me, to us.
I know he was probably a little embarassed and that is part of the reason why he acted that way.
I know if i could've just made him say sorry, his morning would've been a lot different.
I know he doesn't usually act that way.
I know i can't wait for him to get home from school to see how his day was.

"train up a child in the way he should go;
            even when he is old he will not depart from it"
(Proverbs 22:6 ESV)

awake and on my mind

i have mentioned before about wanting another baby
it comes up in daily conversation with my job as a labor & delivery nurse.

when the little hurricane was born i felt like our family wasn't complete (and NO it is NOT because i have 2 boys and i want a girl)

in the last two years i have consistently felt like i wanted another baby and in the last 6 months or so i have been up and down on the thought.

Things are....stable...so why rock the boat...
Luke is a little person not a baby anymore (sniff sniff) No breast pumps, baby food, giant diaper bag not to mention,he only takes one nap a day. (that two nap thing stinks for running errands)
Brady and Luke have a good relationship and the family dynamic is good right now.
J. and i can go out on dates again (easier to find a sitter for two)
I am horrible at pregnancy

SO why am i having preganacy dreams? (this is why i am up at 3am right now...woke up after a pregnancy dream, now i am up)
maybe it is because i work with mammas and babies....


BUT
i love my kids with that mamma lion fierce-ness
i DO love the laughter in the house
the silly-ness of my kiddos and having dance parties
watching J.wrestle with them.
seeing them learn to walk and talk and grow into tiny humans
art projects with them and field trips to fun places
watching my boys be brothers to each other, teaching and learning from one another
big hugs, kisses and "i wuv you mommy"
breastfeeding in the quiet of the night when i am the only one awake with my tiny baby.

i love it when they are mushy little newborns, like they have no bones to hold them up!

i know i need to listen to myself from the last post regarding "the baby fever feeling".
that it is not up to us, it is up to Him. (although we DO play a role in the decision making, God is the one that decides to bless us with that tiny being or not)

like i said i have moments where i go back and forth on the idea BUT i have to remind myself that He knows the plan and it is what He sees fit.

Back in the Saddle again

so i have been pretty absent from my blogging this summer.
i felt like it was taking time away from these guys

 i decided to pretty much halt the writings (not that it matters to many...only a few peeps are followers and i am blogging for myself and to record family moments)
To me it doesn't make much sense to blog about creating family moments but then ignore time with my kiddos or man in the process.
Brady is back to school so I am back in the saddle again . My goal for this fall is to write with more intention and explore more about my journey through my faith and life.




Anywhoo...speaking of family moments..
We went on vacation to Michigan (you can read about my obesessed packing and excitment HERE)
I want to post some pictures about our trip..
WARNING: THERE MIGHT POSSIBLY BE TOO MANY PICTURES POSTED

on the road...on the way... sunrise

posing after stopping to eat breakfast

working hard at sand castle buliding and ditch digging

the first run to the water

brothers

my boys

big hat lady has hit the beach

swings on the beach

not my best side but at least i am with my boys

our favorite beach, Oval beach..at the bottom of the picture is my Jar-garita...
i love anything in a mason jar so i was thrilled when i found the recipie for this "jar-garita"

Dune Buggy Ride, at the top of the Dunes

family shot at the top of the Dunes

we love boats

pure michigan

on the way home

There are so many more picture (literally i took hundreds)
Stay Tuned for...
Vacation Family Photo Shoot pics

Back to School

Brady started back to school yesterday.
2nd grade.

first day of 2nd Grade

I keep seeing posts on Facebook and hearing people say that they are "counting down the days when the kids go back" or " i couldn't wait for them to get on the bus" or "finally school, now i can have time to myself"...

I think im a bit abnormal because I still want him home with me.
Im not knocking those mammas for saying that, i get it...i just don't feel it
.
Im trying to take a deep breath and enjoy these times more.
The times i have with my boys.
Life is just too short and these boys that God gave me are such a blessing.

He loves being with his friends and enjoys school, he is also a good student
BUT
He also enjoys being with his family
I know there will come a day when he won't want to be around us so much
AND
Im sure there will be a summer when I say "im counting down the says when the kids go back"
BUT for now
I wish my BIG 2nd grader was still home with me ...

Hanging with my buddy on vacation in Michigan

The big 2nd grader

or at least they had half day school for 2nd grade.

Booper

August 2nd.
Many years ago this was just another day on the calendar.
 Probably a hot summer day, a day i was trying to soak up the sun at the pool, hang out with friends, run errands or enjoy a vacation but 4 years ago August 2nd changed for me.

It is the day that i lost one of my greatest friends to Breast Cancer.
Today I don't want to think about that. I don't want to think about her long, hard fight.
I want to think about her and all her greatness.

Bonnie. I called her Booper.
I met her our freshman year in college.
She was the kind of woman that lit up a room.
She was the kind of woman with a BIG personality.
She always had an opinion and was never afraid to share it.
She was strong.
She was funny.
She was a mom, a wife, a sister, a daughter and friend.
She loved being a mom...and her daughter is SO her...she is SO Bonnie, a firecracker personality.
She had a fierce loyality and love for her friends. She always made time for them and i think because of her i have become a better friend over the years (at least i hope so)
She would dance and sing and didn't care who saw her do it... she she didn't care if she sounded good or looked good.
She had a great laugh.
She was a lover of life and everyone who came in contact with her loved her.
She was one of those people who come along once in a lifetime and every year on August 2 i am reminded how blessed ive been to have had her be part of my life.

1995. The year i met Booper .Freshman yr of college

2002. My Wedding

2008. One of my all time favorite pics of Bonnie.

2008. Her BIG infectious smile.

 *note to self...scan all my pics that were on an old school camera...too many pics to surf through when i want to find something..


LOVE YOU BOOPER.